Reddit what to say to someone who ghosted

Reddit what to say to someone who ghosted. Ghosting is a cowardly and immature way to end a relationship. Fight fire with fire by giving him a taste of his own medicine. Sorry for the repetitiveness of the text and possibly wording, english is not my first language Tl;dr: Ghosting with no clear reason makes It was a complicated ghosting situation except I was the one who got ghosted. fntastk. Today I ran into someone who had come on reeeeeeally strong for almost 10 dates and then ghosted me (about two months ago). You can ask but it would be short sighted to expect a response. After spending the summer together, we continued talking a few months after until he ghosted me out of the blue, with no reason. Guess what: unrequited love always hurts. Burst your bubble and face the facts, let yourself be hurt for a couple days, get angry, get sad, but remember you're not the reason this happened. Telling the hard truth is the way to go. They just “feel” something not right so they attribute it to the other person because that’s easiest and quickest. It’s immature to expect anyone in your life to be a mind reader. I would start the conversation along the lines of "I'm truly sorry for my behavior and ghosting you the last 2 months. people with kids are less likely to ghost someone though. stone cold silence is all they understand. " Her; "Sounds good, I will do, it is actually my birthday that week, and got a lot of busy plans. That includes when they pop up out of the blue months or even a year later. That leaves our 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Ghosted and then a few weeks later saw them at a bar. My boyfriend of nearly 7 years just left without so much as goodbye. Our brains naturally focus on I want to be clear; there is nothing wrong with you. tsukiii. I don’t even remember which one is which. I would ignore them unless and until they approached me, or I was somehow faced with them (i. You’re not weak or crazy, it hurts BADLY. My advice OP: Protect yourself and be leery of things getting too passionate on the first date. Apologize. We've traveled to see each other. If you don't like being ignored, flaked or ghosted on you should refrain from doing it no matter how long you've known the person, PERIOD. Communicate. I have 3 kids talking to a guy with 2 kids a d both of us are super busy. End of the day, I have been forced to have compassion for myself and realize anytime I ghosted someone it was because I was struggling to become myself for the first time. I ghosted someone because I didn't know what to say. Give him an explanation and then leave him alone. com — previously pointed out, “Remember that your goal isn’t to win them back, or punish them for ghosting Anyone making this a difficult situation is a tiny subset of the population. She told me "you are so handsome, i have such a good connection," we kissed, spoke for hours, she texted me when she got home etc. Sending a “this reminded me of you” text is a nice way to acknowledge it’s been eons since you’ve heard from this person but there are no hard feelings. But closure doesn’t just come when two people say a definite goodbye. As an intj, you should directly communicate to him why but it seems you have ghosted him long enough and he even still messaged you despite that. ago. Even if you think they're into you, even if they started the relationship. Sometimes its because they just dont want to be honest and say they arent interested, other times its just because they got busy. Also just letting you know, if you are not interested please let me know. Ghosting is a ridiculous thing to do in most cases, unless you’re hard detaching from an unhealthy environment or simply going through something that means you cannot quite communicate. I (24f) was seeing a guy (24m) for less than a month so not much is owed to either party. I know I would be forgiving of some people if they have a good reason. So while I’m sure it sucked, it was the right thing. I’m feeling hurt and confused by the way you ended things. They are not worth your time or Honestly, there is one reason I don't unmatch people when the conversation dies down. But we were seeing each other multiple times a week, had If women and men going to play these games they better be sure they can take the same treatment back. Me: "We're just not a good fit. Online dating is flawed. Honestly yes (sometimes). In time, you will understand and even feel liberated by the fact that ghosting, that silence is your answer. If she's begging to see you, invite her over or plan another date. I should have done it even more than I did, I should have done it sooner. Or because they said some weird shit to me. Tweetybird2420. No response is a response. 2. I feel that it was the first time I had felt this way about someone, everything seemed so romantic and spontaneous, very movie-like- as if it were a dream. " He told me that after 2 weeks post date telling me he still liked me and planning dates but kept cancelling. I think be honest, allow them to be mad, say how you will communicate better, take accountability and how you plan on working through it in the future and give the person time. To label the entire act as unsafe over the actions of a tiny minority is fear-mongering. Keeeeeep walking. If someone ghosts me i have zero problem never speaking to them again. I ghost people only if it’s warranted, and at that point, you don’t deserve an explanation or conversation that only makes me feel worse. Ghosting comes from a place of emotional unavailability and often reflects a inner struggle rather the ghoster is facing instead of something being wrong with you . I've accidentally matched with the same person multiple times/seen the same person I wasn't interested in over and over. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Flawed in a way that is only convenient to the Jun 15, 2021 · If You Want Answers From The Ghoster: Hi John. The person who was ghosted now has the ability to do whatever makes them feel at peace. Navigating the complexities that arise after being ghosted and having the ghoster reappear requires striking a delicate balance between forgiveness and self-care. Some say it's a form of emotional punishment/torture. It's hard to send message to someone, and get closure because its human nature to want a response. A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. And a reminder: Ghosting means cutting off all communication abruptly, out of nowhere. Honesty and open communication. siberiandivide81 • 10 mo. If they message back you can ask them what's up. It’s easier and feels more comfortable in the moment to click “block” instead of examining what’s really going on. Then said he wanted to be friends, then never If he would have at least acknowledged his 2 week long silence, I would consider responding and giving another chance. Send them one fairly noncommittal message. Have a nice life, coward. I’ll go days without seeing another human, who isn’t one of my parents, IRL. Also, while I agree, people can be in bad mental spaces, that does not prevent them from communicating such therefore not throwing their partner into a potentially worse mental space. We had said our I love yous, multiple times. i highly doubt that she ghosted u bc of something u did. Or I’m not that attracted to them. I think if someone feels like they need to move, change jobs, change their phone number and also avoid certain public places it must be pretty bad. It’s Ghosting is not a good behaviour. Like I'm the best he's ever had. [deleted] Just be an adult. “If it’s because ghosting you was easier, say goodbye to the disrespectful. • 6 yr. Short answer: no, because they just ghost again. • 3 yr. ESPECIALLY people who complain about this stuff. Use mindfulness and self-compassion to heal. Every day I miss her, and I regret it but I stay silent. You don't deserve someone patient like him if you can't communicate. Ghosted people long for an explanation and confrontation and a sign of regret from the person who ghosted them, and many of them at some point decide in their minds that they need to move on, the ghoster won't give them that, and a way to help moving on is blocking the ghoster. " Me: "Cool, lets grab a bite to eat. 5. I do find it very surprising that you’re suddenly feeling guilty about this now but don’t say anything. 96 23. No. It's alright to have a little passion, but the problem is that it usually clouds our judgment too fast. edit: and realistically, a normal, kind rejection is significantly easier for a person to walk away with than to ghost. He even said he loved me unconditionally. this Really the only thing that can get their attention is something you say that threatens their perception of you and them and the situation. " Buuuut the best way is probably to just accept that you've been ghosted and move on with your life. I just wanted you to know that I have been struggling with some personal things, and that's why I haven't reached out. We had the most amazing time. It just means someone has decided to stop communicating, for whatever reason that you don’t have to find out if you’re not in a LTR with them. Because most people run on emotions primarily. If you're this bothered by strangers who stop responding and thinking you are OWED something, you would react poorly to rejection. Had this happen to me. The answer is within you. it validates her. Best revenge is living your best life since he'll never get to be a part of it. I would say the most likely reason a women ghosts on a dating site is the conversation was boring or she got tired of waiting for you to ask her out. We talk a few hours each day bit sometimes I take a while to answer if I'm busy and sometimes he does. Please don't let someone else's emotional immaturity make you think that. When someone ghosted me I think the same I felt before. And buddy boyo, you gotta have a lot of experience --- both good and bad and with being ghosted --- to even wrap your mind around what that is. it only makes u feel like butt even more despite it having nothing to do with u. Eventually, if you're giving good feelings on dates, she'll want to see you more. If they don't, clearly they've shown you how much they value you and it's not worth wasting your emotional energy on them. " "I'm so sorry. Silence is cruel, but it’s also meaningful and revealing. Everything appeared fine and it’s like he just woke up and decided he didn’t see his future with me and Literally just disappeared and moved on with his life and got a new girlfriend a couple months later. No explanation. r/ghosting: Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and. Spending any amount of time with middle schoolers will show you this is very very common. Long answer: 6 months ago, a guy ghosted me after a date because he wasn't "ready for a relationship because he's young and wants to explore. Allow Instead people either ghost you or go the opposite extreme and cant have tact about it. Sep 28, 2023 · This person isn’t worth the will-they-won’t-they story line. draxor_666. “Spilled coffee on myself and thought of you haha—hope that stain came out!”. snchzls. It is hurtful and disrespectful to the other person, and it does nothing to resolve any of the issues that may have led to the end of the relationship. I wrote back "okay" and I didn't know what else to say. Last week I went out with a friend for dinner. For example they don't have the balls to say "hey I'm sorry but this isn't working out for me", so instead they hope to feel better about themselves by doing nothing and hoping you get the hint. Every situation is different but in general people ghost because they are too cowardly to say how they truly feel. If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. "Hi. i can assure u that 99% of the time the ghoster ghosted bc of a personal issue (them getting busy, mental health problems, them being a bad person lol, etc). in a group conversation). I've never ghosted anyone, but I sometimes wish I had, because the breakup talk is always so painful. What this looks like may differ depending on the length of the relationship Be polite and respect each other. If you’re open to it, I’d like to go on a walk and talk it out. If they did not do anything wrong, that is something to highlight. You can verify your email address on the Reddit Preferences page. And I don't know, as a whole, I don't think it's terrible to gently push back on bad behavior. Yes. When the ghoster returns it’s a trap. My suggestion is simply tell you not to try to rationalize or quantify it; you will never be able to understand the other persons mindset. True - but there have been plenty of people who have made me very uncomfortable at school or work. Jan 25, 2019 · If the point of ghosting was to avoid a clash, then “say goodbye to the cowards,” Owen says. ”. I didn’t uproot my whole life to get away from them. A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others Otherwise, ignore them completely. If they don't see you, don't go out of your way. Ghosting is the cowardly way to go. best advice is to not place blame on urself. He even called me his girlfriend and said how I have set the bar. I don’t think too much of ghosting anymore specially if we haven’t met in person. Self-compassion techniques can help you acknowledge the hurt and grieve. If you unmatch them, they will eventually show up for you to swipe again. You teach other how to treat you. Most likely the feelings of hurt are still there. What is the best way to deal with someone who’s ghosted you? I’m a 19 y/o F and the guy I have been speaking to is 21 y/o- and I met him off of tinder, so I wasn’t expecting much to come off it. He said he needs to focus on himself and getting into a normal routine again. Greater than 24h after I've sent last text. Tell him that you understand it must have hurt and that you don’t expect anything from him, but that you are open to talking more if he wants to. Jan 25, 2024 · 7) Share Your New Exploits. Blocked me from social media when he got I admit, I’ve been on 8 dates since March and I’ve pretty much ghosted every date. You could be seeing lots of other people loving yourself, accomplishing great things, but you need to just stop texting. Reply reply. "Nice! A person who has essentially told you that you’re not worth any consideration or brief words, you are not worthy, or valued. •. People need to stop acting like the dating world would be a better place if people stopped ghosting as if people take rejection maturely. They’re incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Also when they text too much. Hey Kayla. Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned Follow reddit rules. Now, I like to see myself as a nice guy, the girls I dated even People with kids sometimes take longer to respond. You clearly haven't moved on from him if you text 8 months later saying that he is an asshole. If I suddenly lost my thumbs, IDK how I’d still be posting Instagram stories. It is never fun. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice. Eh, I do radio silence once I realized I've been ghosted but "Do you want to see me again? It sucks to be left in the lurch. I do feel like. Gauge the person's character. But I’m sorry, hay is for horses! In this day and age, you should be able to do better than just a “hey”. I'm guilty of it. I struggle with depression and I'm going through a really hard time right now. For most people, we realize the lying is stupid. It always diminishes the ego. 23. : r/dating. Dec 15, 2020 · 27. I was devastated at the time, but I’ve since gotten over it and moved on. You’re inspiring. showing your ex that she is capable of getting a rise out of you is a bad move. Mar 6, 2021 · On the effed-up flipside, we’re more constantly connected to others despite being separated. I think most ghostees hope for this situation, at least I did. 116. 18. Have a conversation, end things or set boundaries, be direct, be patient, be kind. " "I don't want someone else! I want you. Maybe what makes you uncomfortable is the lack of closure. always a ghost. You'll likely hear a lot of shallow bs and excuses from them, they may even throw it back on you and blame you. Jan 10, 2023 · 4. Always take the lead on dates. Being ghosted does not reflect your value or worth as a person. A really loud one. It may not even be the actual version. If they say random things to have a conversation they are even more explicitly expressing their power over us. I ghosted my best friend, who I've known for majority of my life, we were like sisters. The moment they ghost is the moment they have ceded their power. If I were your friend, I wouldn't bother responding to your apology because you lack so much integrity, it isn't funny. I honestly applaud you for wanting to try and reach out. May have too many matches he is trying to keep up with. Running into someone who ghosted you. I do a lot of research on this exact thing funny enough, and sometimes there are reasons why people unintentionally ghost, such as either they have more than 3-5 matches they are talking with, or have a date or something set up for something in the next day or two, weekend, etc. If you go back to someone that ghost you, what does that say about you? It's says that you have no self respect and I also have low self esteem but still I am human. If it’s coming I feel like it’s lazy to say someone “can’t take a hint. While he didn't ghost, I am devastated. It's true when people say it has a lot more to do with the ghoster, than you. I did read the rest, which makes me say, "Double No with FUCK THAT sprinkles on top. How you could possibly handle the situation: [Greeting] I hope you are doing well. Feel good about yourself knowing you'd never be that person to anyone else. I would like to apologize for ghosting you without an explanation. Here are my top reasons I stop responding to guys: That’s why I ghosted him. I just got ghosted and found this searching on the app. Little do they realize that it mostly sucks less for them, especially if they've found someone else. You’re not the only one who’s replaceable. Her: "Hey me too, I am busy that week, i will let you know when I am free :). If you are writing to someone and they are not writing back to you, or are writing back a day or a week later you are being ghosted to some degree. Throughout this process, the importance The people who you have ghosted are probably hurt and confused, and the truth is they probably internalized it as something THEY have said or done wrong. the worst thing you can do to a woman is not hate her, rather it's to not give a shit about her. The pain you’re feeling is valid. They more than likely found someone else, and think it's easier than telling you that they don't like you enough to keep seeing you. Every time I ever did it, it was the right thing to do. We've met 5 times. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Usually I ghost a guy because i’m talking to too many guys at the same time and end up forgetting to reply until it’s too late. mbillion • 6 yr. Cute guy I spotted earlier walks by and slides a napkin across the table in the 11. What this looks like may differ depending on the length of the relationship The people telling you yes are being ridiculous. Let her miss you. Dec 19, 2017 · As Amy North — online dating coach and resident dating expert at LoveLearnings. It's always helped me to have sympathy for that and hope they can improve. There are a lot of reasons someone might ghost you. e. Open menu Open navigation Not texting someone back after one date is rude, but ghosting in a relationship is other level. Ive had it not amount to anything, Ive had them get mad about it, and some cases we end up meeting anyway. Because when you ghost someone and cause them a sh1tload of problems to carry with them, and you just walk away, just to avoid confortation, you are acting really selfish imo, which makes you a bad person. Let her miss you by not texting or contacting her before date, unless she does so first. 2M subscribers in the dating community. . Don't let him live rent free in your head, what he did was a dick move but I wouldn't spam his phone or try to seek revenge in that way. When he sees that you’re all loved up and moved on (with someone nicer and more considerate, no less) he might just second guess his self-worth and realize he’s not all that after all. " and "It's not cool to sleep with someone and then drop them completely" aren't passive. If you’re getting ghosted and you’re offended by it, think about how you’re interacting with people and why people might feel the need to cut you off. Basically say that you’re sorry for what you did, you know there is no excuse, and that you felt like you needed to say this. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. So far, that has been my experience. Ghosting, Bread Crumbing, all the shitty behavior our virtual connections have allowed are simply the inherit risks of dating in 2017. Now, this is assuming that you don’t feel threatened by this person. Do not bully or harass other users. He hasn't had a chance to breathe or focus on himself let alone family and friends. Same with ghosting: it’s quick and easy. The right question is not wether the ghoster can change or not. The ghoster is just playing another card. No fights. It feels great if you ever see him again knowing how much happier you are not being with him. " "I can change!" "No, I don't want you to change. People are much more comfortable with authenticity. I think it is because I've asked friends who have ghosted people before, and they always say I don't want to be Small, inconsequential lies rooted in insecurity that you make because your young mind thinks that's what it takes for people to like you. Every ghoster isn’t like that. If you have been ghosted, the best thing to do is to not interact with the person who ghosted you. If they say they’re sorry they’re not because they’ll keep ghosting. Good relationships are built on good communication and collapse on bad communication. Background : He lives in another city, about 4 hours away from mine. We have a couple drinks, eat dinner, someone anonymously buys us another drink. And he got what he needed from somebody, not necessarily you, which was attention and validation. I want you to find someone who loves you for who you are. Sort by: Leave someone guessing then add insult to injury by flaunting your new relationship in their face. To be honest it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s “in your nature” — it simply doesn’t make any sense to contact people after a DECADE. People who ghost after sex/dating are immature, avoidant of adult communication, and unlikely to be the type of people who introspect and change behavior. I really care about this man and really would try and be there for him but he wants to Usually a person gets ghosted when they have the opposite of a genuine connection-- when they absolutely do not understand what is really going on and are just projecting their one-sided feelings onto a situation. You're A and I'm B (thing incompatible with A). Mar 8, 2024 · Takeaway. Look at ghosting this way - people that ghost don't have the confidence, boundaries, emotional intelligence, or self-respect to communicate their feelings (or lack thereof) in a healthy way. HerbertWigglesworth. You can only control your actions. Ultimately you don't want to be with someone anyways if they are the kind of person who would ghost you, because they don't like you, even if you could snap your fingers and you'd both be chatting with eachother, it wouldn't do you any good because it takes two to tango and if you are the only person caring or giving love, the unreciprocated Not having closure, at the very least, with someone who means a lot is very painful. I just didn’t login as I lost interest. 3. What To Say to A Girl Who Ghosted Me? Hey so long story short, so I am a 34 yo guy who went out and had a fantastic date with a 30yo woman off Hinge. I would say yes. I have to say that after talking to several matches. baby_armadillo. Here are the key insights I discovered when it happened to me: FIRSTLY. " He gave you a version of himself. • 1 yr. Me and cute chick me. It's hard getting ghosted, but keep in my that someone who ghost you have absolutely no respect for you. It is important to assess the situation, set healthy boundaries, and know when to walk away or give the relationship another chance. people will do that cuz they don’t have the balls to perhaps face what u had to face. I have been ghosted and have ghosted women before. Once a ghost. I'm 26(F) and the other person is 38(M). . if they are interested in someone, and even looking to hang out or date with them to see how things Feb 25, 2019 · Ghosting is sometimes referred to as a form of cowardice: the refusal to acknowledge one’s own misconduct. While I'm not excusing my behavior, I would like to explain why I left so suddenly. Because I'm an asshole who likes to get in the last word, I'd probably send a text like, "I guess we're over. It means that the person is trying to get you to go away without actually telling you that. The people telling you yes are being ridiculous. Block him, delete his number and tell a friend to hold yourself accountable. No response is a response, so if someone ghosts you (ie ignores you) then they are not interested in you or otherwise have nothing to say to you, so don't initiate anything further. At that time when I ghosted someone because I’m not into him and still hang up with someone else. And cognitive dissonance may play a role as well. It takes a really shady type of person to just drop people without any remorse. We haven’t met up but we have been speaking for about 6 weeks everyday non-stop as well as phone calls. You missed the boat years ago. I’m not trying to imply OP overreacted at all. Sad because most can't. This sub is about dating and the dating aspect of relationships for people near or over the age of 30. " Me. Focus on some self-worth goal and go for it. I would be civil and polite, and if I was stuck in a 1-on-1 conversations with them, I would excuse myself beyond the basic "how are yous". 125 Share. nn tc am su on vx un ii ib ge